Additional Reflections

Now that I have had a little time to reflect on yesterday's adventure--and that of the past several months--I am struck by the focus of time, energy, and thought that went into finishing 26.2 miles yesterday. For just a few minutes around mile 14, I found myself thinking, "I'm not sure that I can actually do this." Even though the heat and my early faster-than-wise pace were having their effect, I beat that thought into submission as I recalled all of the hours and miles that had gone into getting to that point. At that moment I determined that I would finish, maybe not fast, maybe not at my target time, but I would finish.

An email from a friend on Saturday night wished me well and that I would enjoy the run and not just gut it out. At that point around mile 14, gutting it out seemed like the only option. I wish that I could say that all changed, but until mile 25, it was a matter of gutting it out. After all, I didn't train in order to not finish. The goal from day one was to finish--even if the finish felt rather ugly.

18 weeks ago, I could not have run 26.2 miles. Yesterday I did. And the reason was the persistent application of effort, over time, to increase my capacity to run. This is true in other areas of life as well. At the outset we have a dream, or an idea. It may be beyond our present day capacity, but by the application of discipline (which is really nothing more than consistent effort over time so that we can become what we are not, but what we desire to be) we grow our capacity. Sometimes the growth is so incremental that we can only notice as we look back. But this kind of discipline always has a good result.

Not just discipline, but a willingness to try--to ask "Why Not?" At 47 years old, after three knee operations, I finally said "Why Not?" For some reason, and I don't know why now, I became unwilling to remain limited by my past failures to move to higher levels of fitness and physical accomplishment. I suppose that it can happen in other areas of life as well.

Finally, putting the commitment out in public in front of people I care about helped me to keep on track. Once I started this blog, and people were reading, I could not just drop the idea when it got difficult or unpleasant. And your encouraging comments along the way simply helped to spur me along. "Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses ..."

I look forward to Thursday when I can start running a little bit again. I wonder how it will feel with the marathon milestone in the rear view mirror--probably pretty good.