Obedience or Love?

This morning I did NOT want to run. But, out of obedience to my persistent alarm clock and out of obedience to my decision last night that I would run early this morning, I pulled myself out of bed and trudged out the door. I was doing what I needed to do, but there was very little joy in the effort.

Then came mile 2.1 and I made the turn to head back to the house. All of a sudden I realized that I was feeling pretty good and that my morning jaunt was no longer such a chore. In fact, I was enjoying my run. It struck me that even though my body was doing the same activity at the same intensity, running out of a love of running felt fundamentally different than running our of a sense of obedience.

What made the difference this morning? I really think that it was a function of feelings eventually catching up with right actions. (Granted, this does not always happen and some days I am an unhappy runner the whole way. But that is the exception, rather than the rule.) I truly believe that we can generally behave our way into proper feelings.

If I am feeling impatient, but take on the actions of patience, then I end up feeling more patient. If I am not concerned about an event, but take on the actions of anxiety, then I end up feeling unpleasantly eager about the event. What about this one? If I am feeling somewhat distant from God, but take on the actions of being close to God, will my feelings follow? Often they do.

I have often wondered whether God is pleased when I do the right thing for the wrong reason. I have come to the conclusion that God would rather that I do the right thing for the wrong reason than to do the wrong thing for any reason. He would probably prefer that I do the right thing for the right reason, but that goes without saying. With my kids, I would rather that they do the right thing out of love, but if they do the right thing merely out of obedience--I'll take that.

All too often I see myself and others being driven by what we feel. Yet feelings are too fickle to be the drivers of our lives. Yes, the mind can be confused and reason can be clouded, but I am wired to have mind and reason in the driver's seat. Feelings can come along for the ride, but they don't get to determine where we go.

Once again, as in running, so in faith. Choosing to do the right thing out of obedience is likely to lead to continuing the right thing out of love. It is better to start right behaviors with an ignoble motive and move to a noble one, than to not start the right behaviors until the motive is pure. At the end of the day, even if a motivation of love doesn't follow obedience in a particular instance, at least I will have done the right thing.

Pressing On!