Our Last Week Together

Last night someone in our small group prayed that we would have a great last week together this week. This Saturday my eldest daughter will be marrying a wonderful, godly man who seems to be a perfect match for her. I do not believe that I could have picked a better man for her to spend her life with. Not to mention that the path that they took to meet each other and fall in love has been amazing. They will not live far away, but it feels very much like life is changing in a substantial way. As much as I am happy for her, I will miss her--lots.

There is a certain kinship among firstborns. Even with our differing generations and circumstances we share some things that I will never share with my other daughters. I can never say to the others, "I have an idea how it must feel as the second or third child." I have always been, and always will be, a firstborn--as will Kelsey. In many ways she was the experiment. She did not come with an operator's manual or a parenting guide. We tried our best, but everything was for the first time. And everything that she did was the first. The first steps. The first split lip. The first to be enthralled by Go Dog Go! The first to fall asleep to Tell Me Why. The first to fall asleep in her soup. The first to conquer Bouncy Bee. The first whose team I coached. The first to send off on a missions trip. The first to use my chain saw.

Kelsey has always been my "Handy Andy"--pretty eager to help with anything involving wood and power tools. And a tough one too. I will always remember with great pride when she hoisted the other end of the 20' 4X12 and we carried it around to the backyard for the deck. And when I asked her to dig a hole for a tree in the side yard and she thought that the hole should be as deep as her shoulders, when I was showing her a much shallower point on the shovel handle. I got home with the tree and she was up to her shoulders in the hole! (And the tree that went in the hole is the happiest in the whole landscape.)

I'm not sure who will laugh at my jokes now or trade silly song quotes or finish sentences with Princess Bride dialogue. I suppose that I will just have to save them up until she and Nate come to visit.

None of this takes away from the other transitions of the upcoming summer--a high school graduation, a second wedding, sending my last off to college--it is just the first of several pieces of my heart being carved away.

Despite my incipient sadness I am truly happy for Kelsey and Nathan. They are one of the few couples whom I can envision shuffling down the street, hand in hand, at age 85. They will be that cute old couple that everyone looks at and knows that their love for each other and life together have been a special story. And with that confidence, my own bittersweet feelings can move more from the bitter to the sweet.

Pressing On!