59 Weeks -- The Clock Doesn't Lie or Care What You Want to Hear

For those who are both optimists and have a good imagination, when faced with a big goal or project it is tempting to see everything related to the task or project through a certain lens--usually one of how I would like things to be and not necessarily how things actually are.  Well, for the 59 Weeks project, this weekend will be a time to take off any reality-skewing lenses and see reality.  And it has me a bit nervous.

A couple of principles that drive my life are:

}Esse Quam Videri:

◦To be rather than to seem to be

}The Stockdale Paradox:

◦You must retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties.

◦AND at the same time…

◦You must confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.

These principles reflect my desire to live authentically and to experience an authentic reality--whether it is hopeful or disappointing; easy or difficult; fully engaging or slogging through what needs to be done.

This weekend is the Alkek Omnium, a track race at my local velodrome here in Houston.  There are six events total and two of them are the events that fall within the boundaries of 59 Weeks--the 500m Time Trial and the 2,000m Pursuit.  I will be racing these events against the clock this weekend. There will not be any room for "how did it feel?" or "do I think I did OK?"  Instead there will be a number associated with each event.  That number will not be influenced by how I feel or what I would like the number to be.  It will be what it is--nothing more and nothing less.  And my fear is that the number will be far from my objective--perhaps very far.  Therein would lie the challenge.

But while I am a bit nervous, I am also looking forward to getting real numbers that will tell me where I am now in my performance and how far that is from where I want to be.  I want to face the most brutal facts of my current reality--whatever they may be.  Only then will I be able to work with my coach to gauge what we need to do to work from this weekend's numbers to the numbers that I want to ride in Los Angeles at the end of 59 Weeks.  I have set a target for sub-38 seconds in the 500 and 2:35 or so for the 2k Pursuit.  This weekend will show me where I really stand--not just where I hope to stand.