This is the season that thoughts turn more naturally to giving. After all, Christmas is just around the corner and there are bells and red kettles everywhere to present us with ample opportunities to give. Don't get me wrong, I am all in favor of philanthropy in many forms, I am just opposed to merely seasonal giving.
A lawyer colleague of mine once asked how my church paid for its operations. Apparently at his synagogue, the members would be invoiced for their portion of the operating expenses and everyone (or most I would assume) would simply pay the invoice. At the time, I though that sounded like an interesting approach, but not so much any more. For giving to have a benefit for the giver, I believe that it must be purely voluntary. The times that I have given--whether a little or a lot--that I have felt compelled by some outside human force have left me feeling sullied by the experience. But when I have given out of inward desire to bless someone else, that has been freeing and deeply satisfying.
Certainly giving involves financial resources, but I also believe that just limiting consideration of giving to money shortchanges the concept. Giving should involve time, attention, and energy as well as money. And perhaps those most in need of my giving in these other areas live right in my own house. Sometimes I wonder whether my family sees how much time and energy I give outside the house and questions where I place more value. I hope not, but better to ask the question and find out that everything is fine, than to not ask the question and only find out later that there was a gap in perception.
Attention is the main area where I need to strengthen my giving. There are so many things going on that I want to multi-task all of the time. Yet, I know that I hate the feeling when someone else is multi-tasking around me. It happens with God all of the time. I start praying or reading, then something else comes to mind and I break off "just for a minute" to take care of the more pressing matter. Meanwhile I can just imagine God waiting patiently on the other line for my return. If I do not like the feeling of being treated that way, why should I think that it is OK for me to act that way toward anyone else? That is just ridiculous!
So today I will try to be fully there in whatever conversation I am part of--fully engaged in every encounter. And I wonder how it will feel to give more generously?
Pressing On!
The Persistent Journey -- toward authentic living in an inauthentic world
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Laugh More Often
Sometimes life just seems so serious. Bills to pay; classes to succeed in; people depending on you to get things done or take care of them; planning for college; planning for weddings; planning for the rest of life. But must these things define our attitude? I am not saying that there are parts of life that are not serious--very serious. But must all of life be dour and humorless in order to be "grown up"? As Ortberg suggests, when has anyone ever said at the end of life, "I wish that I had laughed less."
I would agree that there is value in laughter--even beyond just the good feelings. The ability to laugh at myself helps to remind me that I do not carry the weight of the world on my shoulders--ultimately I am not responsible for everyone and everything. The ability to laugh at circumstances and with others reminds me that we are all goofy at times. I suppose that the key is to take seriously that which is serious and not that which is not. The trick is to know the difference.
I certainly think that Jesus got it right (pretty safe thing to say). Sometimes we read the gospels as if Jesus was that sour-faced, cheerless elementary school teacher whom we discovered probably didn't like kids too much. For many years I read the gospels that way. After all, saving the world is pretty serious business. But take another look.
Can't you just see Jesus struggling to hold back a smile when His disciples tell Him that there is no food and He knows that He is about to turn some little kid's sack lunch into a feast for the masses? Can't you see Him snickering at Peter's reluctance to get out of the boat when Jesus knows that Peter is about to experience the greatest outdoor adventure ever? Or how about an outright belly laugh when Jesus tells the fishermen to put out their nets after a long nights' unproductive fishing and they bring in a record catch?
Certainly there were times of great seriousness. Casting out demons; healing the sick and raising the dead; hanging on the cross and bearing the sin of all mankind. Yet, if the God of the universe could laugh and enjoy His friends--if He saw that as valuable--who am I to devalue that experience?
At the same time, laughing more often is unlike loving more. It is not just a choice. (In fact, if I just bust out laughing for no reason people will wonder whether the wheels have come off of the cart.) BUT, I can look out for things that are humorous. Today I will try being serious when I need to, but also be looking for the fun and the funny. This may not be my nature, so I am curious to see what happens.
Pressing On!
I would agree that there is value in laughter--even beyond just the good feelings. The ability to laugh at myself helps to remind me that I do not carry the weight of the world on my shoulders--ultimately I am not responsible for everyone and everything. The ability to laugh at circumstances and with others reminds me that we are all goofy at times. I suppose that the key is to take seriously that which is serious and not that which is not. The trick is to know the difference.
I certainly think that Jesus got it right (pretty safe thing to say). Sometimes we read the gospels as if Jesus was that sour-faced, cheerless elementary school teacher whom we discovered probably didn't like kids too much. For many years I read the gospels that way. After all, saving the world is pretty serious business. But take another look.
Can't you just see Jesus struggling to hold back a smile when His disciples tell Him that there is no food and He knows that He is about to turn some little kid's sack lunch into a feast for the masses? Can't you see Him snickering at Peter's reluctance to get out of the boat when Jesus knows that Peter is about to experience the greatest outdoor adventure ever? Or how about an outright belly laugh when Jesus tells the fishermen to put out their nets after a long nights' unproductive fishing and they bring in a record catch?
Certainly there were times of great seriousness. Casting out demons; healing the sick and raising the dead; hanging on the cross and bearing the sin of all mankind. Yet, if the God of the universe could laugh and enjoy His friends--if He saw that as valuable--who am I to devalue that experience?
At the same time, laughing more often is unlike loving more. It is not just a choice. (In fact, if I just bust out laughing for no reason people will wonder whether the wheels have come off of the cart.) BUT, I can look out for things that are humorous. Today I will try being serious when I need to, but also be looking for the fun and the funny. This may not be my nature, so I am curious to see what happens.
Pressing On!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Love More
John Ortberg suggests that one of four ways to avoid regrets in life is to love more. (When the Game is Over it All Goes Back in the Box, ch. 9) But how can you "love more"? Can you tell a person how to think more? Or feel more? I understand how you could eat more, read more, or do more, but how do you increase an emotion? Unless part of the key is that love is only partly an emotion.
What if fundamentally love is something more than a feeling? (Bonus points if you just started humming the song.) Sure there is a feeling dimension to love, but at the core, what if love is an action. Something we do as much as something we feel. Then we can actually do something about loving more. But what is more? Is it more intensely? More often? More meaningfully? Simply put, YES!
It may be like a year of running. Yesterday I went over 800 miles for 2009--my second highest annual total in my 49 years of living. (2007 = 840) Looking back at the log, the way I got to 800 is a lot of 4s, 5s, and 6s, and relatively few 13s, 16s, and 25s. In the same way, loving more is a lot of smaller acts of love punctuated by a few more extensive acts of love. If every run was a short one, it would be difficult to get to a record-breaking annual distance. But if I only did the long runs, my body would not likely survive the experience. But the blend of the long and the short; the special and the ordinary; the less demanding and the more taxing; that is what has gotten me to 800 for the year (and probably a new annual distance record in the next week or so).
In fact, loving more may be about the daily, ordinary acts of love more than it is about the rooty-poot nights out, or the trips to exotic destinations, or the jewelry that should be kept in a safe. There may be a place for such things, but they cannot be the foundation upon which a more and better love is built. "More love" is built on washing the dishes or folding the laundry or watching the football game (whichever suits your particular circumstances) far more than on the amount of money spent on a lavish gift.
The best part is that it is never too late to love more. Whether your annual mileage total today looks like 650 or 65 or 6.5, you can add more miles today. Whether 2009 has been a good year of loving more or whether your love has not been much to write home about--today you can love more. So today, find someone close by (family or friend) and do some action of love--something that honors them above you. Something that communicates "I care".
Press On!
What if fundamentally love is something more than a feeling? (Bonus points if you just started humming the song.) Sure there is a feeling dimension to love, but at the core, what if love is an action. Something we do as much as something we feel. Then we can actually do something about loving more. But what is more? Is it more intensely? More often? More meaningfully? Simply put, YES!
It may be like a year of running. Yesterday I went over 800 miles for 2009--my second highest annual total in my 49 years of living. (2007 = 840) Looking back at the log, the way I got to 800 is a lot of 4s, 5s, and 6s, and relatively few 13s, 16s, and 25s. In the same way, loving more is a lot of smaller acts of love punctuated by a few more extensive acts of love. If every run was a short one, it would be difficult to get to a record-breaking annual distance. But if I only did the long runs, my body would not likely survive the experience. But the blend of the long and the short; the special and the ordinary; the less demanding and the more taxing; that is what has gotten me to 800 for the year (and probably a new annual distance record in the next week or so).
In fact, loving more may be about the daily, ordinary acts of love more than it is about the rooty-poot nights out, or the trips to exotic destinations, or the jewelry that should be kept in a safe. There may be a place for such things, but they cannot be the foundation upon which a more and better love is built. "More love" is built on washing the dishes or folding the laundry or watching the football game (whichever suits your particular circumstances) far more than on the amount of money spent on a lavish gift.
The best part is that it is never too late to love more. Whether your annual mileage total today looks like 650 or 65 or 6.5, you can add more miles today. Whether 2009 has been a good year of loving more or whether your love has not been much to write home about--today you can love more. So today, find someone close by (family or friend) and do some action of love--something that honors them above you. Something that communicates "I care".
Press On!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Supplement for Today
The new job is great! Interesting people who are also pretty driven to make the business succeed. Enough capital and firepower in the larger company to back up those ambitions. Some really good early successes that are driving new business our way. The freedom for me to develop a new and emerging consulting arm of our business unit. A fair amount of travel (love those SkyMiles). The first time working for a "big" company (1500 employees in 15 offices in eight countries).
I am becoming a huge fan and you can check us out at www.cpaglobal.com.
No "Do-overs"
In case you hadn't noticed, life has no rewind button; nor are time machines real. Once you take your finger off of the chess piece, that turn us over and, once you are older than two or three, you can't change your mind and make a different move--there are no do-overs. Someone once said, "You are free to make whatever choices you may want, but you are not free from the consequences of your choices." As in chess, so in life.
Regret is a hard thought/emotion for many people to deal with--myself among them. Even though I know that there is no time machine that can allow me to go back and undo mistakes, bad decisions, and outright wrong choices, I still wish that there were. Of course, why do I think that I would get it right the second time? (Perhaps because I cling to the hope that we actually can learn from our mistakes.) You cannot go back and un-eat yesterday's second serving of turkey and dressing, or that fifth piece of pie; but there is no reason that you have to do the same thing today (even if you are celebrating a second Thanksgiving with your other family).
Regret is a hard thought/emotion for many people to deal with--myself among them. Even though I know that there is no time machine that can allow me to go back and undo mistakes, bad decisions, and outright wrong choices, I still wish that there were. Of course, why do I think that I would get it right the second time? (Perhaps because I cling to the hope that we actually can learn from our mistakes.) You cannot go back and un-eat yesterday's second serving of turkey and dressing, or that fifth piece of pie; but there is no reason that you have to do the same thing today (even if you are celebrating a second Thanksgiving with your other family).
Ortberg writes that people's regrets generally fall into four categories: I would have loved more deeply; I would have laughed more often; I would have given more generously; and I would have lived more boldly.
There will be other posts to unpack each of these, but just a few initial thoughts. Each of these qualities of living is possible no matter how young or old a person may be. Each of these qualities of living is also possible no matter what choices you may have made in the past. Each day is a new day and in addition to God's mercies being new every morning, so are my life quality options. Maybe only in small ways, but new all the same.
Today I can choose attitudes and actions that will express love more deeply; that will laugh often; that will be giving of time, energy, and other resources; and that will not be timid. If I had Bill Gates-type money I would still have the same core choices--the manifestation of those choices might look different, but they are still the same choices. If I were in prison for the next 20 years I would still have the same choices. The context of the choices or their boundaries might look different, but the core choices would remain the same.
BUT the kicker is that I must choose--or something will be chosen for me, and I will still need to live with the consequences. Today it is my turn (game analogy) and I cannot skip my turn or come back to it later. Today I must make today's choices, so why not choose today to love, laugh, give, and live boldly? I think that this quality of living may also carry fewer regrets into tomorrow.
Pressing On!
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