Spaces in the Shadow Box

Last winter I made a shadow box for my running medals and some race numbers. It was designed for encouragement and for a reminder that I had achieved some accomplishments that I might not have expected to achieve. I purposefully left three spaces in the shadow box for the three last long races that I intended to run in 2011--The Gary Bjorkland Half Marathon, the Afton Trail Run, and the Holiday Halfathon. These were either favorites (Afton and Holiday), or were races I had longed to run (Bjorkland) for years.

After last February's knee operation I expected the doctor to give me a tentative green light to run these races,. as long as I took it kind of easy. To my chagrin, the doctor's advice was that if I wanted to have much hope of keeping my knees for a couple of more years, I should not run any of these races. Or better yet, not run at all. Through the spring I have held out hope that I would heal enough to hobble through my running swan song. But this swan is silent.

So the spaces in my shadow box will remain unfilled. Empty sentinels of hopes once treasured. Silenced clarions of pre-dawn footfalls on Monticello's streets. Coming to grips with losing running has been more of a challenge than I ever thought it would be. I have probably been in a bit of a funk for a couple of months as the reality has settled like a heavy fog on a spring morning.

I wonder how Abraham felt as he looked at the Isaac-shaped space in his home? When he struggled to reconcile God's promise with his empty crib? The Bible tells us very little--just that Abraham believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness.

I wonder if the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11 felt like their shadow boxes had empty spaces--unfulfilled hopes and dreams? The Bible tells us that these folks had received promises from God, but did not see their fulfillment in this life. Did they die unhappy? Wishing for more from this life? Longing to fill the spaces in their shadow boxes? Or did they see something different. Something more. Something beyond this life that melded unfulfilled promises and everlasting hope in a perfectly reconciled reality.

The spaces in my shadow box do not need to detract from the medals and race numbers that remind me of many of my fondest running days. The spaces in my shadow box do not need to cry out that my best days are behind me. Perhaps the spaces in my shadow box would be kind enough to remind me that this life is just a small portion of existence. Whether or not there is running in the life to come, I can be assured that heaven's shadow box has no empty spaces.

Pressing On!
-Ken